Without further ado, here is the second ongoing fanfiction that I will be writing: “Elements of Harmonix.” I was never a huge fan of the Harmonix idea in general, so I decided to reimagine it as a crossover with My Little Pony. This one was really fun to write, since it’s a parody fic with no fourth wall (and it’s even implied the only reason this would’ve happened was so that Hasbro and Rainbow could milk more money out of it). I’ve written it with character introductions so it could possibly be read by non-bronies who are interested in the show. As it’s a parody, it was kind of hard to find a good “stopping place” for this part (since it’s not as neatly done as Zenith of Corruption was, and since I reeeeally need to rewatch the Harmonix episodes to remember the order…curse you, similar episode structures!). Rarity and Rainbow Dash were probably the easiest of the MLP characters to write, in my opinion. (WARNING: As this is a parody fic, Bloom’s actions are very exaggerated to poke fun at the Bloom-hating trend. I personally am ambivalent on this issue, but please know that her actions in this are meant to jest about the way fans can often depict her.)
Elements of Harmonix
Part One: Bloom and Pink (because I couldn’t think of anything better)
It all began with a letter or, more accurately, with several letters. Those inside the room had been there for hours, striving to write the proper words to sum up the situation.
“And so, Katelyn Balach,” Tecna read from her letter, which was approaching its end, “you must acknowledge that Winx can be a valuable franchise for Nickelodeon and for the world. Therefore, we must not be forced to wait six weeks plus to get our fix. We really do wish to know how Season Five ends and what plans you have for Season Six. Sincerely yours—“
“Tecna, what in the world are you talking about?” Stella questioned in shock as she was filing her nails. “Who’s Katelyn Balach? And Season Five of what? We’re supposed to be earning Harmonix here!”
“I don’t quite know why I was writing that letter,” Tecna replied. “It’s just that Bloom damaged the fourth wall when we were fighting off the Trix.”
“The fourth wall of what?” Musa answered. “I knew I just finished writing a letter about ‘the importance of believing in your friends,’ but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“There are people watching us right now,” Flora whispered. “I’m glad the fourth wall was there. This can get a bit creepy.”
“Do not focus on it,” a soothing voice replied from another room. “Have you finished with your letters?”
Aisha, Flora, and Musa began to rush to find various stationery items.
“The stapler’s broken!”
“My pen is out of ink!”
“What’s a synonym for ‘antidisestablishmentarianism’?”
“Not to worry, guys,” Bloom interrupted. “I took the liberty of writing my letters, plus all of yours.”
“That’s really nice of you, Bloom,” Flora acknowledged. “What’s the occasion?”
“Oh, I always like to have attention directed towards me.”
“So do I!” Stella chimed in. “Speaking of which, I don’t understand why you consider writing morals for every one of our episodes to be so hard. I just used Nick canon. I bet you guys were all still working on S1 while I was already working on S3. Thanks, one-hour season specials!”
“Said no one who ever existed,” countered Musa, who then used her magic to create a rimshot sound for her joke. “Seriously, I have no idea why I never thought of that idea before.”
“Seriously, Stella, if you spent as much time working as you do trying to get out of work, you would’ve gotten the job done quicker,” Flora replied.
“Your way, my way, everyone has their own way,” Stella answered. “And I’m sticking by mine.”
All of a sudden, a majestic white figure cantered into the room. While it looked like the Creature of the Rainbow Mantle they had saved earlier, it differed from it as well. It was the one who had told them to write “letters”—though they were more like morals—for all of the episodes they had been in so far. However, Stella had factored the Nick specials in, while the other girls had (for some reason) decided to follow the original canon. It was no surprise that she had ended up finishing first, and now they were about to receive Harmonix.
“I am Princess Celestia,” the winged unicorn began. “While Harmonix is a first step to Sirenix, there is one thing that Harmonix has that Sirenix does not. Since you have fulfilled my task, you have proven yourselves worthy of this great power. And for that, you will each receive an Element of Harmony to guide you in your mission to defeat Tritannus.”
Please excuse us while we are down for two minutes due to first-time transformation sequences (the full-length ones that they subsequently shorten and never use again), which are too elaborate and beautiful to describe in word form. Anyway, after all the fairies had transformed into Harmonix, they looked back down to see that there were now six horse-like animals standing beside Princess Celestia.
“They’re so cute!” Stella cried.
“Could you please focus on the mission now?” Tecna answered. “These are magical artifacts, not petting zoo animals.”
“But you must remember that these Elements of Harmony are on the same level as you,” Princess Celestia continued. “They are magical creatures just like fairies, and are therefore not for riding. They can do Convergence level spells just as you can. And in order to use their full powers, you must first befriend them.”
“Well, that can’t be too hard,” Bloom muttered. “They look friendly.”
A yellow-and-pink pegasus shrank away from her and stiffened her wings while making an unbelievably cute squeaking noise.
“That went well,” Musa sighed. “Wait, why do we all look similar in this transformation?”
“That’s clearly the result of amateur design,” a white-and-purple unicorn answered. She closely examined the fairies and sighed, “Not to mention the fact that high-low dresses are a dime a dozen. Any clothing store would carry them. And I would never understand why anyone would wear heels, with all the controversy they’re attracting. You must love yourself first and foremost, and anyone who would sacrifice proper hooves for style clearly does not.”
“Why do I get the feeling that they did that just so the toy companies can use the same dress mold for all of us?” Musa continued.
“Don’t even get me started on that,” a blue pegasus with a rainbow mane scoffed. “Those guys never get my hair right. They always make it long and girly, and nowhere near as awesome as it already is. Something tells me the pink, spiky-haired person over there has the same problem.”
“And don’t even get me started on the time they made Princess Celestia pink and–!” another hot-pink pony answered.
“Pinkie, I thought you promised the princess never to speak of that again!” yelled her companion, who seemed to have both wings and a horn.
“Oh, like that time Rarity fell in love with a rock because she thought it was a diamond?” Pinkie questioned cheerfully.
“Yes,” the white-and-purple unicorn, clearly Rarity, responded through gritted teeth. “Just—like—that.”
“Hey,” Musa commented. “Happens to all of us. My rock’s name is Riven.”
“Don’t cause more Musa/Riven shipping drama!” Bloom advised. “That takes away from my screentime!”
“Oh, you’re one to talk!” Musa countered. “You’re the one who’s always freaking out about Diaspro being placed in random locations where she could reconnect with Sky!”
“They don’t seem to be very good friends,” the yellow pegasus whispered.
“You know why we don’t argue like that?” the rainbow-maned pegasus replied. “Because I’d smack you upside the head if you did. That goes for you guys, too. Don’t make me do it.”
Bloom and Musa stopped arguing as soon as she said that.
“Aw, you guys aren’t too bad,” she muttered. “You just need some motivation every once in a while, and I’d be more than willing to oblige. Name’s Rainbow Dash, Element of Loyalty. Perhaps you’ve heard of me?”
“That was my line!” Rarity yelled.
“Let’s not get too into that,” the purple alicorn advised before turning to the two fairies. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, by the way. Don’t pay too much attention to them. Rainbow and Rarity can be a bit self-centered at times.”
“I am never self-centered!” Rarity huffed. “I’m the Element of Generosity, after all. Name one time—“
“Season One, episode sixteen, ‘Sonic Rainboom,’ in which I have to save you from falling because you have to steal all the attention!” Rainbow Dash retorted.
“I guess we aren’t that different after all,” Twilight Sparkle answered.
“That will provide quite a bit of help in the mission,” Princess Celestia agreed. “Each of the fairies is meant to bond to an Element of Harmony, but to decrease the repetitiveness of the episodes, all of you will do so at this very moment.”
“Musa, Tecna, Flora,” she began, “please step forward.”
“Is this the line that gets eliminated or the line that stays?” questioned Musa suddenly. The princess merely shook her head in response.
“You three will stay behind for the first mission,” Princess Celestia continued. “Three of the ponies will also stay with you. Bloom, Stella, Aisha, you will be bonded to your corresponding Elements now. Bloom, yours shall be the Element of Laughter, Pinkie Pie; Stella’s is the Element of Generosity, Rarity, and Aisha’s is the Element of Loyalty, Rainbow Dash. You three must find a way to defeat the sea monster, Tritannus, while the others play getting-to-know-you games.”
“I hate those games,” Musa groaned. “All they do is make you do embarrassing things in front of your friends.”
“Don’t be silly,” Pinkie Pie replied. “It’s okay to make a fool out of yourself in front of your friends!”
“And with that, I shall teleport the main three to an undisclosed location,” Princess Celestia announced. “May your mission succeed.”
The room suddenly darkened and Rarity yelled, “Wait! What type of sea monster are we battling? Does he just want a moustache made out of my tail again?” The darkness cleared to reveal an ocean.
“This is going to take a lot of explaining,” Aisha sighed. “On both our parts. But the point is that it’s not going to be that easy. You can’t just hand Tritannus something to appease him. He’s always been this way. And I should know, because he’s my cousin.”
“Whoa,” muttered Pinkie Pie. “And I thought my family was bad!”
“Shut it, Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash responded. “This is no time for jokes. It’s time to be serious.
The sooner we do that, the sooner we can get back to Equestria.”
To be continued…
Just for fun, I’d like to see how many fandom jokes (Winx, MLP, or both) you can find in this. There are a lot of little Easter eggs in this one…